Choosing What to Work on

choices-signHey all!  I had a lovely few days out at my boyfriend’s.  It was nice to hang out with him and our friend Wally.  And it was pretty interesting to help Wally study for some medical school stuff.  Neurology is complicated as hell. But I did understand some of it.  Which was neat!

I also spent a good portion of the weekend internally panicking about how much I have to work on in the upcoming months.  This was entirely unproductive, I knew it, and I’m kicking myself because of it.  I had so much time to get things done and I just balked and kept panicking.

Which led me to this post.

That’s easy, pick what you WANT to work on!

Well, this is how I used to operate.  I used to work on what I wanted to work on and that was great.  And then I went and published some work.  And now it feels like I need to do the smart things.  In this case, the smart thing is outlining Opus Crescendo and figuring out exactly WHERE I want Opus Requiem going.  I mean, I have a vague idea, but if someone asked me where the entire Opus series ends, I could only give them a few random things.  Another smart thing for me is working on my ABNA submission for the upcoming contest (I think January).  I can’t use Opus Crescendo because that’s still in infancy…and using Opus Requiem is even more laughable.  I think I’m going with Never for ABNA.  I still have A LOT to write, but it’s the story I see the most clearly.

What I want to work on is my NaNoWriMo idea.  Or my random Zodiac idea.  Or the mech series I had planned…

So…work on what you NEED to work on?

Again…I wish it was this easy.  Sometimes I feel like its draining my creativity to work on what NEEDS to be done.  Maybe its just my mind being contrary.  Or just some wicked writer’s block.  Or SOMETHING.  But it is incredibly frustrating.  I want to breathe life into all of my stories, I think I’m just digging my heels in at my self-imposed deadlines.

I know part of why I’m still having trouble with my writing is lingering depression, but I’m trying to get a little bit done each day.  I feel all of these urges to write and the second I sit down, that urge just vanishes

I think I just need something to get me excited about some stories again.  I love writing, I love creating.  I just need something to remind me, I think.

So…

I’m not sure what to do.  I’m at a loss.  I want to work on my new projects.  I want to work on what  I need to get done.  But when I sit down to write…nothing’s happening.  I’ll figure it out, I always do.  I’m just frustrated.  Though…I am excited for the upcoming release for Convergence Point (December, for those who are interested).  I got an email today with a more finalized version of the lines.  I’ve been smiling about it since.

So I guess this was more of a rant than anything.  I’ll get over it like always…I’m just frustrated.  I think time of year is making it difficult as well.

I’ll get back into the swing of taekwondo, I’ll get back into the swing of writing novels.

So what do you think?  Do you usually work on what you WANT to work on or what NEEDS to be done?  Do you think creativity is stifled when you have to work on the needed projects versus the wanted projects?  I think I’m kind of torn on the subject.  I understand needing to get things done, but that doesn’t stop me from WANTING to work on something new.  You know?

~LL Lemke

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2 thoughts on “Choosing What to Work on

  1. I feel your pain. I have a story I know I should be working on, but instead I started something totally new. My hope is when I’m done with the new project I’ll be satisfied and can go back to the old one (?). Is it something about writers this time of year? I’m looking forward to the next few months, too. I’m sure you’ll be fine either way. 🙂

    • I opted to go with something I should work on – my ABNA submission for this upcoming year. It’s going well – actually met my word count goal for the day. I wish you luck on your new project. And maybe there is something about this time of year, there’s a lot of exciting things coming up (NaNoWrimo, ABNA, etc.)

      Thanks very much! 🙂

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